Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
