If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize