my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
