I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
