i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
