Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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