So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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