I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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