just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
