The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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