OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
