Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
