Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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