I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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