Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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