i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
