it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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