Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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