You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
