Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
birth control should be required to get into college
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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