I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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