Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
