If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
