I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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