Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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