You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
