I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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