You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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