I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
