you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize