Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
