it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
