I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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