Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
