porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
