I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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