I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
