I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize