I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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