can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
