the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
