I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
