After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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