he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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