Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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