MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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