So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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