Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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