is your mom at the bar?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
