i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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