just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
