But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize