Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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