She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
