what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
