Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
