perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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