What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
