the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
