I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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