That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there was a trapeze. enough said
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
