my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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