Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize