Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
